Sunday, January 06, 2013

The Single Guy and the Station Wagon

Volvo station wagons have an excellent reputation. More often than not, when someone thinks of a Volvo, it is easy to free associate the word safety right away. These cars have a history of being safe and, therefore, are seen as good family vehicles.

Recently, the Charlatan was forced to leave behind the Ford Escape that he has been driving for many years. In its wake, he made the grown up and responsible purchase of a Volvo station wagon. This, of course, leaves the man open to ridicule from all his friends.

While the Charlatan is recently newly engaged, he does not yet have a family. It isn't often that you see an unmarried man with no children riding around in a wagon.

This weekend, the Single Guy rode along with the Other Single Guy for a brief trip to Richmond. On the way to Virginia's capital, these two discussed the Charlatan's choice in vehicle. He was not coerced. No one twisted his arm. He freely chose to buy his new Volvo wagon. In return, the Single Guy and the Other decided to come up with some good jokes. It was determined that they needed to give the Charlatan a hard time.

But then the Single Guy drove the Volvo. The Charlatan asked the Single Guy to take the new car on a quick trip to the grocery store while he finished setting up for a program at his church. The Single Guy happily obliged. And, in his humble opinion, that new car handled amazingly. He was pleasantly shocked.

The Single Guy returned to the church with groceries in hand and quickly got in touch with the Other Single Guy. "Can't mock it," he said, "the thing drives like a dream."

Of course, the Single Guy said he would not be able to mock. But reality kicked in later when he got into the passenger seat as the Charlatan began to drive to dinner. "So, did the mom jeans come standard with the car?" asked the Single Guy.

The Charlatan just laughed. He then said, "That's good, keep 'em comin'!"

The Single Guy confessed that he and the Other had worked on a bunch on the long drive to Richmond. The plan was to pepper him with the jokes throughout the evening. Some others include but are not limited to:
  • "If you decide to get paper instead of plastic, how many grocery bags can you fit in the back?"
  • "Are the other moms in the carpool jealous of the new car?"
  • "Do you have to pick up all the soccer equipment by yourself, or do you have some help?"
  • "Are we picking up the stuff for the PTA bake sale on this trip or later?"
That last one came from the Other Single Guy and was a particular favorite of the night. The Single Guy still has a hard time envisioning the Charlatan in a station wagon, but cannot deny the appeal of the vehicle. Please note, the Charlatan's car is not the model pictured. His is newer, classier and more of a dark grey in color.

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