Saturday, January 07, 2012

Dirty Santa

I haven't really talked much about my job. And I'm not gonna talk about my job in this post either. At least, not really. I really just want to focus on the office Christmas party.

You know how these things go. Food, music, socialization with co-workers in a non-work setting. And, of course, there's the gift exchange. You know how awkward this little game can get, right? People draw numbers, then they choose gifts. They can pick something that's wrapped under the tree or they can steal an opened gift from someone who went before them.

I rarely have good luck with these things.

My first time out, I picked a gift under the tree. Of course, I was number 9 of 43, so there weren't many opened options at that point. I opened my choice and revealed a nice travel coffee mug and coffee from Starbucks. And, as a bonus, it came with some fancy chocolates taped to the package. This is a problem for me because A) I do not like chocolate and B) I do not like coffee.

So I sat there for a while, hoping that someone liked coffee and chocolate just enough to steal it away from me. Eventually, that's what happened. I waited a long time for it to happen, but it did.

Then I opened a gift that was apparently a highly coveted commodity. Maybe it was my emotional state or my complete lack of sensitivity to things people typically care about, but I honestly couldn't have cared less. When I looked at it, I saw an awkward looking calculator. Everyone else looked and saw a beautifully handmade wooden thing built around the awkward looking calculator.

As I made my way back to my seat, I heard all the people around me telling me how last year this was the thing that everyone fought over. That told me I wouldn't keep it very long. That was fine. I don't need a handcrafted calculator holder.

Meanwhile, I'm listening to the guy next to me talk about how no one is going for the gift he brought. "I bet it's because it's not wrapped to look nice." He said this over and over again. Every time someone went up to pick a gift, he repeated his tale of woe. He even went so far as to tell me exactly what he brought. I'm not sure if this would entice me to pick it when I inevitably lost my fancy calculator or what, but that's exactly what I did.

Believe me, it wasn't because the gift he brought was the most amazing thing ever. It was an obscure movie that I'd never heard of along with $5.00 gift cards to McDonald's and Little Caesars. I was not enticed by his description. But I did take the misshapen green gift bag containing the gift he brought. Why would I take something I knew I wouldn't really want? Mostly to get him to stop complaining that no one was taking his gift. It was like sitting next to Charlie Brown during the worst Christmas ever.

And I thought I could be negative.

But here's the kicker. I finally decided to use that Little Caesars gift card today. I was near the Little Caesars and thought I pizza sounded pretty good for lunch. I went in to get my Hot-N-Ready pepperoni pizza and handed over my gift card. And then the girl behind the counter kindly let me know that the card had a zero balance. Real funny, Charlie Brown. Apparently my lucky streak with the Dirty Santa game continues.

I have yet to watch the DVD that came in the bag. The way things are going, I'm fairly certain I'll put it into the DVD player only to have the display read that it's a blank disc.

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