Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The Single Guy and the Smarter Phone

The Single Guy has wanted a smartphone for a while now. It isn't that he was unhappy with the phone he had. It did everything he needed it to do. He could send text messages. He could make the occasional phone call. He could even play Tetris. But he couldn't check Facebook. He couldn't post his every thought on Twitter. And he learned to live with it.

Then the Single Guy got a phone call last Wednesday. It was a telemarketer from Verizon, who we'll call Marta. Now, the Single Guy was at work and was actually in the middle of a task. In reality, he probably shouldn't have even answered his personal phone, but he had been getting calls from the cable company on and off for the last few weeks and he really just wanted to tell them to stop calling. Answering the phone to tell them to stop calling turned into a longer conversation than he anticipated.

Marta was kind enough over the phone and the Single Guy is sure she was very knowledgeable. Again, he was kind of busy, but he's pretty sure the conversation went as such:

Marta: May I speak with the Single Guy?
Single Guy: This is he.
Marta: Blah blah blah, blah. Blah blah early upgrade blah. Blah blah blah?
Single Guy: Yeah...
Marta: Blah blah phone?
Single Guy: I kinda want a smartphone.
Marta: Blah. Blah blah blah. Droid blah blah blah?
Single Guy: Mmm-hmm...
Marta: Blah blah bill your account blah blah.
Single Guy: Great. Thanks.

And that's how it went. Verbatim.

Soon after, the Single Guy received an email letting him know that his new phone would be sent to him via FedEx and he should expect it by Friday. Unfortunately, this meant that he would have to wait until Monday to actually get his phone because he would be leaving for North Carolina directly from work. So the waiting began.

Monday came and he was finally able to hold his new phone in his hands. It was everything he dreamed it would be and more. Finally, he could partake in a device that the rest of the world discovered back in 2006. Finally, he could play Angry Birds.

He took a break from blogging over the last few days. Mostly it was because he was trying to learn how to use his new handheld device. The Single Guy has since discovered that, two days later, he's still pretty much in over his head. And he's also pretty sure that this device will soon reveal itself to be yet another way to be rejected by women.


  1. Pretty sure I only use my phone for about 1/1000 of what can do, but being able to check email throughout the day is invaluable to me as a contractor.

    Welcome to the 21st century.

  2. I LOVE the fact that you named her Marta...!!!!!