The Single Guy made a trip to Lynchburg over the weekend. Why would he do such a thing? Because Roanoke doesn't have a Kohl's. Yet.
He needed to buy some shirts for work and since he didn't have any real money, he needed to use his Kohl's charge card. That's right, he has a charge card for a clothing store. But he's very responsible with it. Always makes his payments on time. Only uses it in times of great need. Like the time he really wanted those Chuck Taylors.
Anyway, on his way back to Roanoke, he came across a turtle attempting to cross the road. There wasn't much traffic, so the Single Guy decided to pull over and give the little guy a hand across the street. After all, he didn't want the turtle to get hit by a car and end up shell shocked. Cue the rimshot...
The Single Guy approached the turtle and saw that it probably didn't need much help. That turtle was really truckin' across the pavement. But the Single Guy reached down and picked it up anyway.
As he made his way across the street with the turtle in his hands, the hard shelled reptile's legs kept kicking, as if it was fighting its predicament. Its head moved back and forth and its tiny mouth opened and closed violently. The Single Guy couldn't be sure, but he thought the turtle might have been trying to bite him.
"Why are you fighting me on this?" the Single Guy asked, "I'm trying to help you!"
Within seconds the Single Guy reached the other side of the road and gently placed the turtle down in the grass. Without so much as a thank you, the turtle charged off away from the road and from the good Samaritan who was willing to pull over to help it.