Monday, July 18, 2011

The Single Guy and the Roommates

The Single Guy really didn't want to complain about his new living situation and he certainly didn't want to bad mouth his new roommates. But the living situation is starting to become a serious issue in his life. And the new roommates are becoming something of a thorn in his side.

Really, he didn't want to complain about these things because of the off chance that the roommates could come across his blog. After all, the Single Guy advertises his latest blog posts on several forms of social media. It wouldn't be too hard for the roommates to find the disparaging remarks that the Single Guy may make about them. But he's to the point that he's already ready to move out, so he doesn't really care anymore.

Before he gets to the real complaints, it might be a good idea to let you, the reader, get a good understanding of who these roommates are. First, there's the guy who's been there the longest. He's the one who placed the ad on Craigslist that the Single Guy responded to in the first place. It seemed like such a good idea at the time. When the Single Guy met Roommate #1, his impression was that this guy was 50% Woody Allen, 50% Jeff Goldblum. If that doesn't paint enough of a picture for you, then you need to get a better understanding of who Woody and Jeff are.

The Single Guy briefly met Roommate #2 during that initial meeting. He's an assistant manager at a local restaurant and seemed like a pretty decent guy, if a little out of it from sleeping 'til noon. In fact, they both seemed like decent enough guys. Woody Goldblum seemed a bit more socially awkward than the norm, but he figured it would be a livable situation.

He got the impression that these guys mostly kept to themselves. After all, the living/dining room area was sparsely furnished and not at all decorated. And that was fine with the Single Guy. He had been living alone for the past four years, so keeping to himself would be an ideal situation. Or so he thought.

A couple weeks later, he finally moved into his new place. Really, his new place consisted of a bedroom and possibly some shelf space in the fridge and kitchen cabinets. That's about it. It wasn't easy for him to pare his belongings from an entire apartment to one room. But he managed to do it, for the most part. From the beginning of this thing, it just didn't seem to be working out right for him.

The problems with the internet should have been an omen of things to come for the Single Guy. Problems continued to reveal themselves when he went to the cable company with Woody Goldblum to pick up a DVR for his bedroom. The Single Guy wanted one of his own, just so he wouldn't have to rely upon the roommates and the community cable box in the living room in order to watch what he wanted to watch. Again, seemed like a good idea at the time.

In the time since receiving that DVR, the Single Guy has had two that have not worked properly. He's been on the phone and in online chat with tech support more times than he can count. He even had a technician come to the apartment to try to fix things. Still, problems persist. He's decided that he's just going to return the DVR to the cable compay. Why should he pay extra money as part of his monthly rent for a device that obviously doesn't work.

And now there are renewed issues with the internet. After Subway got things working a couple weeks ago, things were running smoothly. The Single Guy was able to surf the web without interruption. He was able to watch the instant streaming movies from Netflix through his Playstation. And then Woody decided it would be a good idea to simplify things.

For some reason, a past roommate had set up a second wireless router. Apparently, that second router had been an outstanding idea. Because while the Single Guy was receiving a signal from that second router, his signal was strong and pretty much flawless. When the cable technician came to the apartment to "fix" the Single Guy's DVR, Woody had him "fix" the internet as well. So now, there's only one wireless router in the apartment. And now, the Single Guy gets a weak signal that breaks up every few minutes.

He's still able to get on the internet through his laptop, but everything runs much slower. He attempted to watch a movie through Netlix on his Playstation, but every minute or so, it would stop and need to retrieve the information all over again. Downloading any updates is problematic at best. But it doesn't end with problems of technology.

The Single Guy has had to be pretty frugal when it comes to spending money over the last month or so. Moving is an expensive undertaking and his new salary hasn't quite kicked in yet. So the few groceries he has actually bought are precious and, to him, worth their weight in gold. When all you can afford is a loaf of bread and a package of turkey to get you through a week's worth of lunches, you want these things to last.

On several occasions, the Single Guy has noticed bread missing from the loaf that he keeps on his designated shelf in the kitchen cabinet. He's noticed a brand new package of turkey sitting open when he knows he's not the one who opened it.

If he was making money hand over fist, he wouldn't have a problem sharing his food with the roommates. But thus far, he hasn't taken any of their food. He hasn't asked for any of their food. Why should the Single Guy's food be communal property?

Finally, we have the texting incident from Saturday night. The Single Guy was enjoying his evening in Bluefield with Subway, the Charlatan, and the Other Single Guy when he received a text from Woody. He asked if the Single Guy was home around 9am on Friday morning.

"No. I was at work. Why?" he replied.

"Did you leave your TV on?" Woody said.

"No. What's going on?" the Single Guy asked.

"Well, Roommate #2 says it wasn't his, but a TV was on pretty loud and woke me up Friday morning. No big deal."

Apparently it was a big deal, otherwise the Single Guy wouldn't have been hearing about it more than 24 hours later. Now, the Single Guy is secure in the knowledge that his TV was off when he left for work. When he stopped by his apartment Friday night before heading to Bluefield, the TV was still off. He's sure that Woody would have let him know if he had gone in there and turned it off for him. With that, the Single Guy thought the issue was done. Then another text came through.

"It's no problem. Everyone is entitled to their secrets."

What the crap did that mean? The Single Guy shared the text conversation with his friends and they all laughed, but at the same time, they were all a little afraid for the Single Guy's well being. It's not that they thought he was in any kind of danger being there with these roommates. They were more worried about his psychological well being.

So the Single Guy is back to looking for a new place to live. Though he really can't afford to move at the moment, he is definitely keeping his eyes open for something. As soon as possible. Any suggestions? He's all ears.

1 comment:

  1. Yikes! And I thought I had some roommates from hell! (well, ex-roommates)

    Good luck with that!