Your Idea of the Perfect First Date
This is a tough one for me. I've made it no secret that I really don't date. My best estimation is that my last "real" date was back in college. And I graduated from college 8 years ago. To say it's been a while would be a massive understatement.
I did ask the Spider-Girl out, but the date never actually happened. So my latest opportunity at a first date turned out to not so much be an opportunity as it was a missed opportunity. But even if I had had the chance to take her out, it wouldn't have been anything near my ideal first date. After all, I was about to move and was pretty broke.
Come to think of it, those few dates that I did actually go on back in the day were all first dates. So maybe my idea of the perfect first date wouldn't be so perfect after all.
Simply put, the perfect first date would be the one that leads to a second date.
That picture up there looks pretty amazing. I'd like to think that the guy who could set that up and surprise a girl on a date with an elaborate outdoor dinner like that would be on his way to a pretty spectacular first date. But if it is, in fact, a first date, he may be going overboard.
See, my theory is that you want the first date to impress, but not be too impressive. Ladies, correct me if I'm wrong. I think the guy should do enough to get her interested in seeing him again. But don't go crazy. You've got to leave room for improvement. Somewhere down the line, she's gonna expect you to do a little better. If you can't one-up yourself, you've lost the game before you even started playing.
That's the problem we run into with TV shows and romantic comedies. They have these inflated budgets that allow their protagonists to do these amazing things in order to woo their leading ladies. We watch these things and forget that they're only there for entertainment purposes. We think it's actually possible to over-romanticize every event in our lives. We forget that it just isn't realistic to tell a girl that we want to meet them on Valentine's Day at the top of the Empire State Building.
I'm not saying that a first date should be underwhelming. I'm just saying that it shouldn't overwhelming either. A first date should simply be... well... whelming.
When I was living in Raleigh, I had a good idea of what I wanted to do if I had ever had the chance to take Spider-Girl on a real date. Now that I don't live there anymore, that plan would have to change, should the opportunity to ask a girl out present itself. But here's my Raleigh plan, as it was:
Dinner reservations at P.F. Chang's.
Dessert next door at the Cheesecake Factory. (This could have turned out disastrously if said date turned out to be lactose intolerant, but I think it could be worth the risk. Have you had their cheesecake?)
All of this followed by a non-strenuous kind of walk.
In the immortal words of Van Wilder, "First dates are interviews." A first date should not be complicated by trying to take in the plot of a movie or play. It shouldn't be interrupted by a large group of friends that are all clamoring for either of your attention.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the group get together. But when it comes to calling something a "first date," you should be able to spend time with your date in a one-on-one capacity. The point of the first date is to try and get to know each other. Based on what you learn about your date, you decide if you want to go on the second date. And then a third. And a fourth. And so on.
So how does that strike you ladies? Any takers? Or does that finally drive home the reason why the Single Guy is still single?