A Photo of Yourself and a Description of How Your Day Was
Things started out pretty standard. I woke up with the alarm, decided to ignore it for about an hour, and then eventually forced myself to get up. It's harder to get up these days since I generally wake up around 3 or 4 in the morning with an aching back. I mean, it aches a lot. I usually sit at my desk for about half an hour and then I'm good to try and sleep for the rest of the night/early morning.
Point is, eventually I got out of bed. I went through my normal morning routine. I got ready for work, I packed my lunch, and I left the apartment. Side note: I haven't seen my roommates in about two days. I know they're there 'cause I can hear them moving around. Maybe this is how life in the Awkward Apartment will be.
Once I got to work I did work things. It isn't glamourous, but it pays the bills. At least, I think it will pay the bills. This is where the ridiculously felt stress comes in. I jumped online this morning and saw that my upcoming paycheck was available for viewing. And it wasn't nearly what I was expecting. In fact, it was exactly the same as my previous paycheck. To the penny.
Now, I know I shouldn't be stressing out about this lack of extra fundage. I did the math. I'm fine as far as the bills go. I really am. I was just expecting a little more so that I could start getting a little ahead in my savings and in paying off that pesky credit card. But it doesn't look that's happening right now or any time soon.
Those dreams I had of quickly escaping the Awkward Apartment are going away, because right now, it's all I can afford. The idea of upgrading to a smart phone may have to be put on hold. And resubscribing to the Netflix? Yeah, gonna have to wait on that too.
Am I poverty stricken? No. Do I have a job that makes ends meet without needing to deliver pizza again? Yes. Should I really be that stressed out? Absolutely not. And I kick myself for getting worked up over not having a lot of extra money to put away or to chip away at my debt. So I can't do those things. Why is that such a big deal? I can survive somewhat comfortably (aside from the back aches in the middle of the night) on what I've got. And I should be thankful for it every minute of every day.
I am grateful for what I have. Moving back to Roanoke has not been the bright and shiny dream come true that I may have expected. Okay, I wasn't expecting anything bright or shiny, but I kind of expected it to be better than it has been. But it isn't the end of the world. Nothing has turned out the way I planned, but the positives have outweighed the negatives.
I am thankful that I only need the one job to get by. I am thankful that I've reconnected with so many old friends that refuse to let me sit in my apartment doing nothing. I am thankful for those old friends who have introduced me to new friends. I am thankful that I have food on my plate and gas in my car. I am thankful that I woke up this morning able to breathe, able to function, able to get myself to work to eke out a decent living.
The rest of my day? I can tell myself not to be stressed out, but that's one of those things that's easier said than done. Just because I don't like a feeling or don't want to feel that way doesn't mean it isn't happening. So I'm sure I was irritable. And I know I came across a lot of situations that were similar to what I faced back in Raleigh. That is to say, these were situations that cause me to call into question my ability to work a job related to customer service. Sometimes I just don't know how to fix that.
On the plus side, I brought in some of my CDs from the car and so we've been listening to music that I like to listen to. I'd say that's selfish of me, but everyone looked through the few CDs I had and they seem to be well-liked.
This evening I plan to relax. I plan to read. I plan to see what people are doing on the Facebook. I plan to go to bed when I feel tired, no sooner, no later.