Tuesday, July 26, 2011

30 Day Blog Challenge: First Day

A Photo of Yourself and a Description of How Your Day Was
Do you really want to hear about how my day was? 'Cause I spent a lot of it being a little stressed out. I hate being stressed out. Especially when there's really no reason for me to be stressed out. And as soon as you read what my day was like, you'll think I'm ridiculous for being stressed out.

Things started out pretty standard. I woke up with the alarm, decided to ignore it for about an hour, and then eventually forced myself to get up. It's harder to get up these days since I generally wake up around 3 or 4 in the morning with an aching back. I mean, it aches a lot. I usually sit at my desk for about half an hour and then I'm good to try and sleep for the rest of the night/early morning.

Point is, eventually I got out of bed. I went through my normal morning routine. I got ready for work, I packed my lunch, and I left the apartment. Side note: I haven't seen my roommates in about two days. I know they're there 'cause I can hear them moving around. Maybe this is how life in the Awkward Apartment will be.

Once I got to work I did work things. It isn't glamourous, but it pays the bills. At least, I think it will pay the bills. This is where the ridiculously felt stress comes in. I jumped online this morning and saw that my upcoming paycheck was available for viewing. And it wasn't nearly what I was expecting. In fact, it was exactly the same as my previous paycheck. To the penny.

Now, I know I shouldn't be stressing out about this lack of extra fundage. I did the math. I'm fine as far as the bills go. I really am. I was just expecting a little more so that I could start getting a little ahead in my savings and in paying off that pesky credit card. But it doesn't look that's happening right now or any time soon.

Those dreams I had of quickly escaping the Awkward Apartment are going away, because right now, it's all I can afford. The idea of upgrading to a smart phone may have to be put on hold. And resubscribing to the Netflix? Yeah, gonna have to wait on that too.

Am I poverty stricken? No. Do I have a job that makes ends meet without needing to deliver pizza again? Yes. Should I really be that stressed out? Absolutely not. And I kick myself for getting worked up over not having a lot of extra money to put away or to chip away at my debt. So I can't do those things. Why is that such a big deal? I can survive somewhat comfortably (aside from the back aches in the middle of the night) on what I've got. And I should be thankful for it every minute of every day.

I am grateful for what I have. Moving back to Roanoke has not been the bright and shiny dream come true that I may have expected. Okay, I wasn't expecting anything bright or shiny, but I kind of expected it to be better than it has been. But it isn't the end of the world. Nothing has turned out the way I planned, but the positives have outweighed the negatives.

I am thankful that I only need the one job to get by. I am thankful that I've reconnected with so many old friends that refuse to let me sit in my apartment doing nothing. I am thankful for those old friends who have introduced me to new friends. I am thankful that I have food on my plate and gas in my car. I am thankful that I woke up this morning able to breathe, able to function, able to get myself to work to eke out a decent living.

The rest of my day? I can tell myself not to be stressed out, but that's one of those things that's easier said than done. Just because I don't like a feeling or don't want to feel that way doesn't mean it isn't happening. So I'm sure I was irritable. And I know I came across a lot of situations that were similar to what I faced back in Raleigh. That is to say, these were situations that cause me to call into question my ability to work a job related to customer service. Sometimes I just don't know how to fix that.

On the plus side, I brought in some of my CDs from the car and so we've been listening to music that I like to listen to. I'd say that's selfish of me, but everyone looked through the few CDs I had and they seem to be well-liked.

This evening I plan to relax. I plan to read. I plan to see what people are doing on the Facebook. I plan to go to bed when I feel tired, no sooner, no later.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so with you on the financial stress! I've been stressing so much about money. I have my upcoming cruise in October and I need to come up with money for the shore excursions. (I know, I know...I have such a hard life.) But I am also stressing about coming up with $1200 for my dog's surgery. Plus there are 2-3 family birthdays every month...starting from April to October and that gets expensive.

    Anyway, hope it gets better for you!