Saturday, May 14, 2011

Hair Today, Gone...

...Well, today, also.

I've been toying with the idea of cutting off all my hair for a couple months. It's the kind of thing that hits me every few years. The last time I buzzed it short I was living in Roanoke and George W. Bush was the president. It was a different time. But the thing that ties these times together? It gets hot having that much hair on top of one's head. And I have a lot of hair.

It grows fast and it grows thick. I know I could have the opposite problem. Dad started losing his hair in his twenties. Mine just seems to keep growing more. And now that summer is approaching, I've decided that I don't want to face another one in North Carolina with a small jungle on my head. So now it's gone.

But now that I've cut it off, I'd like to salute some powerful, bald people. People who never let a lack of hair stop them from achieving greatness.

Telly Savalas - I mean, the guy was Kojak. And he was Jennifer Aniston's godfather. Bald and awesome.

Lex Luthor - Has he ever let a lack of hair stop him in his quest for global domination? No. Only Superman has that distinction.

Jean-Luc Picard - The guy captained the Enterprise for seven outstanding years on television. Can Kirk say that with his head full of hair? I don't think so.

Professor Charles Xavier - No hair and he can't walk. Yet he still runs a successful private school for gifted children in upstate New York.

Britney Spears - Sure we all thought she was crazy when this picture first made its way around the internet. But who's laughing now? Okay, I still laugh. But come on, it's funny.

Let me be clear, I am not going bald. Like the lovely Britney, I just took the clippers to my scalp and voluntarily got rid of everything but a couple millimeters of growth. That doesn't mean I'm crazy, like some pop stars desperately seeking attention after a failed marriage and lagging sales. I simply look at it as a cooling off period for my brain, which has been cooking under a thick cover of hair. Okay, I'll give you that one... it kind of sounded a little crazy.

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