Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Legends of the Bank Teller - Episode XCVII

One day as I was building up to one of my regular rages against the customers, I got to thinking about something kind of geeky. My mind wandered to the Star Wars universe and turning to the Dark Side. As angry as I get at work, I think my turn to the Dark Side would be an eventual inevitability. But my turn is not what I was thinking about.

My thoughts were more along the lines of, "What if Darth Vader was a bank teller?"

I can tell you one thing, he wouldn't take crap off any customers. Someone starts throwing a fit because they were stupid enough to overdraw their account? Force choke. Someone dares to come to the drive through without having all their things ready to go the second they pull up? Force choke. Someone complains about having to pay a fee to cash a check when they don't have an account with us? Force choke.

Here's a little scenario:
Idiot Customer - "I need to get a cashier's check."
Darth Vader - "You will incur an eight dollar fee for this check."
Idiot Customer - "I've never been charged a fee before!"
Darth Vader - "I am altering the deal. Pray I do not alter it further."

See? No crap from anyone.

In fact, I'm thinking that Lord Vader would institute weekly lightsaber beheadings just to keep people in line. It's probably a good thing I don't have a lightsaber of my very own. Also, it's probably a good thing that I have yet to turn to the Dark Side. Or discover my own Jedi abilities.

1 comment:

  1. search chad vader on you tube. It's darth vaders younger brother chad as a super market clerk. It's the only series of videos on youtube where I have watched every one of them. They are also on hulu