My Wedding/Future Wedding/Past Wedding
Well, since I'm not married, nor have I ever been married, the whole "Past Wedding" thing is a big ol' not applicable.
And I've witnessed a lot of pain and misery in relation to a number of my friends' and families' marriages. This causes me to seriously consider lifelong bachelorhood. So a "Future Wedding" may be a moot point as well.
But let's assume that I grow some optimism at some point. Let's also take that giant leap and assume that I find a woman who would be willing to put up with me for the rest of her life, which may be harder to come by than my own rare optimism.
Since the first time I visited my friends' lake house at Smith Mountain Lake, I've said I would want to get married in their back yard. I think it'd be a great place for a wedding. From the back porch down to the dock, there's a gentle slope, so it would be like having stadium seating. It's kind of a gorgeous view of the lake. Other than the location, I doubt that I could get any of my other ideas by the bride.
For example, I want the ushers to announce which side the guests are sitting on: bride's side or groom's side. And I want a scoreboard. And whoever has the most guests on their side of the aisle gets a prize, to be determined.
I would like to have someone with a commanding voice and a dry sense of humor to read a Deep Thought, by Jack Handey, also to be determined.
I would really like to bring together the folks I sang with in Praise Singers during college to do some song together as a surprise for the bride. So if she's out there reading this right now, I'm sorry, I guess I ruined the surprise.
And if she's out there reading this, it would be nice if she would announce her presence. I have no doubt that she's fallen in love with me based upon nothing but these many blog posts that I've done over the years. And I'm sure it helps that my picture is plastered at the top of the page. That probably caused some kind of head over heels action. Anyway, whoever you are, we need to come to some kind of agreement about these wedding demands. I may be able to give way on the Deep Thought, but the scoreboard is non-negotiable.