Not long ago I brought you the story of ParkMan, the man with the uncanny ability to always find a great parking space. Today I bring you the story of the guy that can always make the perfect mix of music for any given situation.
He called himself Mix Tape Man. He knew that, these days, that kind of name was extremely out of date. After all, who used tape for anything in the 21st century? Everything was on discs or flash drives or iPods. But it was a name that he had held onto since the early 1980s and he wasn't about to change it now. Mix Tape Man was never invited to join the Justice League, but he was okay with that. JLA members had to face down monsters and alien invasions. Mix Tape Man was much more comfortable sitting in front of his stereo at home and making lists of songs that he thought would be great for his fellow heroes.
He remembers how it all started, back in the day. He would listen to the radio, waiting for a certain song to play so he could hit record on the tape deck just in time. Mix Tape Man was always a little peeved when the on-duty DJ would start talking before the end of the song or sloppily segue into the next tune. There were times when he thought he would go right over to the radio studio to give a particular DJ a piece of his mind, but no. He had to use his powers for good, not for evil. And he knew that his abilities really wouldn't help him if it came down to a fist fight. In fact, when it came to violence, Mix Tape Man was kind of a wimp.
Then came the day when he got a brand new stereo with a dual tape deck. The days of waiting for songs on the radio were over. But soon enough, the compact disc would weasel its way into popular culture and the mix tape itself would fall by the wayside. But people still needed their mixes for road trips and parties. The CD was just a new way of playing those songs.
But now, Mix Tape Man finds himself all but obsolete. He's an analog man living in a digital age. All the other super-heroes have iPods that they hide in their capes or utility belts. Everyone uses iTunes to come up with their own playlists. And if they're too lazy to combine their own songs, they can just click on the iTunes Genius button, and the computer does it for them. Poor Mix Tape Man.
A few months ago, he made a mix CD for Superman, including songs like Donovan's "Sunshine Superman" and 3 Doors Down's "Kryptonite." The Man of Steel had said a quick thank you, but the look on his face let Mix Tape Man know that he felt awkward about receiving the CD. Superman would later confide in Lois Lane that he would probably never even listen to the disc, and that it would end up in the junk room at the Fortress of Solitude, along with his old Legion flight ring that quit working 20 years ago and that novelty piece of gold kryptonite that Batman had given him as a gag gift. Yeah, some funny joke, Batman!