It never seems like I get hit with anything big to make me hate my job. It's always about dozens of little things. Think of it this way, which would you find to be more maddening: one punch in the face at one time that you know is coming, or thousands of tiny little pin pricks that could come at any time over a long span of years?
I've made it no secret that I don't like the amount of money I'm making at this craplousy job. I'm not saying that, as a bank teller, I should be making astronomical amounts of cash. I just really feel that, as someone with a couple degrees under his belt, I should be making enough to pay my few monthly expenses and maybe start making a dent in my student loans. But that just isn't possible. On this one paycheck, it isn't possible even to meet those monthly expenses without the help of a second job. As a single man with no family, should I really be forced to take a second job? I really don't have that many expenses. I don't spend that much money. I don't even buy much when it comes to name-brand groceries.
So I'm not making much, that subject has been covered. Another problem is that I'm only working 35 hours a week. I'm still called "full-time" but I'm just not getting those 40 hours that many other full-time employees are able to enjoy. For a while, I was scheduled to work 5 days a week, but with two half days worked in. Eventually it became apparent that it would be much more convenient, and would cause me to spend less money on gas each week, if I were to take one full day off instead of the two half days. I found this to be an okay trade-off. I only get my 35 hours a week, but I get a Wednesday off every week.
Up until now, the way I record my time is to go to our online timesheet and just fill in my hours as they're given to me on the printed schedule. I generally go ahead and fill in the entire week as soon as I have the schedule, that way I don't forget to input my time when it's due, because it's already been done. Yesterday I was informed that this was inappropriate and inaccurate.
Inputting my time in this manner gives me exactly 35 hours every week. However, human resources wants us to be accurate, to the minute, with our time. Now, before you start yelling at me about how doing otherwise would be unethical, let me explain that I understand HR's position here. But from the perspective of one who barely makes ends meet as it is, it really feels like the bank is just nickel and diming me out of even getting the pitiful 35 hours that I'm scheduled to get. See, I'm not allowed to go over that 35. But by saying the exact minute that I arrive and leave, it will be nearly impossible to reach 35 either.
Again, I get the ethics of the situation. But, to me, it still just feels like the powers that be try to find new ways of making me want to quit, while simultaneously making me not care that I have no other means of supporting myself.
I just want a new job. I just want a job that doesn't make me dread waking up each morning to face the new day. I just want a job that doesn't make me want to jerk the wheel of the car causing me to careen off a bridge into the Neuse River just so I won't have to go back the next day. I just want a job that doesn't make me hate my place in life. And it'd be nice if I could have a job that allowed me to live my life and not have to stress out about whether or not I'll have enough money at the end of the week to buy groceries or put gas in my car. Anyone out there think that's too much to ask?
Believe me, I understand that I should be nothing but grateful for the fact that I even have a job in this economy. More often than not, I am grateful, even for this going-nowhere-zero-respect job. But there are a lot of times when I'm ungrateful and I just need to vent. And if I can't vent on my blog, where can I vent?