Saturday, March 20, 2010

Legends of the Bank Teller: Episode LXXIV

Every now and again we have some important visitors in our bank. Usually these important visitors are rumored to be floating around town visiting branches at will. These rumors generally keep employees on their toes or on the edge of their seats or on pins and needles, and that's usually only because it gets managers on those same toes or seat edges or pins.

This week we had one of those rumors. Rumor had it that our regional president was making the rounds. Not only was he visiting random branches in our area, but he was also quizzing random tellers about some of the new verbiage used in the bank's operating model.

Late on Thursday, the president of our region came in. We had no warning. We were not prepared for his visit with a practice drill. We were caught completely off guard.

My manager caught a glimpse of the president roughly two seconds before he came through our glass doors. His reaction was to jump out of his chair and begin to shout the president's name across the lobby, attempting to warn the teller line of the impending disaster that awaited us. But the manager also saw that there was a customer in the lobby. That cut him off in the middle of his panicked shout.

So neither of us on the teller line knew what he had said. And then the president entered. In my mind I had imagined this larger-than-life kind of person making a Darth Vader-like entrance with ominous music playing in the background. It was nothing like that. The president was in a rush and completely ignored the peons behind the counter. He went directly to the manager and asked to use the empty office to make a conference call. Thus, it looked like we were off the hook.

While he was on his call, the manager came out to us and quizzed us himself, just to try and prepare us for what may be to come. The president did eventually come over and introduce himself to us. He seemed like a nice enough guy. I may have had a different opinion if he had indeed quizzed us or, in some other way, put any of us on the spot. But he didn't. He shook our hands, held a brief, but pleasant, conversation regarding customer service, and then went back to make more phone calls.

The next day, we decided that we needed better code words for when important people dropped by. For the president, I suggested "egg roll." However, that was shot down because my fellow teller, April, felt that "egg roll" sounds too much like "April." I don't hear it, but okay. Eventually, our assistant manager came up with "apples." I think that sounds more like "April" than "egg roll." But I guess that's why I'm just a teller.

But there are other important people that tend to get us riled up. My manager has a boss and she drops by quite frequently. Really it's only once every other week or so, maybe less. But I'm thinking we should have a code for her as well. We have a quality assurance type of person that comes by on a whim sometimes. She'd be another good one to have a code word for.

And then there's my dream girl in the white SUV. Now that I'm not the only single guy working in my branch, I've come to the realization that there is another who would like to gaze upon the beauty inside the SUV. To be completely honest, whenever my assistant manager is not there and she comes to my window, I do get some small pleasure out of texting him and bragging that I've just seen her. Since he's usually in his office if she happens to come by, he felt that a code word would be needed for her as well. His suggestion: "heaven."

My counter-suggestion: "Aaron's soul mate."

I don't believe in soul mates. So to call her that for the sake of a code word was merely to get a laugh. But when she drove by yesterday, that sure is what I shouted across the lobby to let the assistant manager know who was at my window. I've never seen anyone shoot up out of a chair that quickly before. For a while, we all wondered if the chair even survived the event.

It occurs to me that, should I ever develop the nerve to ask her out, the girl in the white SUV may not necessarily like having all these blog posts about her. I'll keep my fingers crossed and just hope that she'll find it flattering. Of course, the point is moot until I finally develop the nerve to ask her out.

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