Sunday, January 31, 2010


I'm so close to turning 30 I can almost feel it. And I mean that quite literally. I find that if I sit in one position for too long, my joints stiffen up. And then those first few steps after standing are pretty rough. I imagine I look a bit like a hunchback of some kind. Luckily I only find myself in a sedentary position for too long a time while at home doing nothing. This is my alone place, where no one can point and laugh when they see that I can't move like the limber young man that I once was.

But as that 30th anniversary of my birth quickly approaches, I can't help but wonder if I've reached the point that I had hoped to reach by this age.

The first disappointment that comes to mind is one that I complain about often on this blog. That's the subject of my job. And I know that money isn't everything, but as a college graduate with a fairly large amount of student loans to pay back, what I make is pretty dismal. Especially considering the fact that the average 30-year-old college graduate makes roughly 15 to 20 thousand a year more than I make. It's humbling really.

And then there's the marriage thing. Okay, I never really thought I'd be married by now. I may have had a fleeting thought about it once or twice back in college, but haven't given it serious consideration in recent years. I think that sort of thing weighs more heavily on the minds of my friends and family than it does on mine. And when I say it weighs heavily on their minds, I think they're pretty insistent that I should find "the one" and settle down. I may be hitting 30 soon, but I'm still not in a hurry there.

I guess those are the big two when it comes to judging these milestones. I guess family would be another consideration. But since I'm not married, having kids isn't even a blip on the radar.

But what makes 30 such a big deal anyway? I guess as a kid it seemed like this old age that I would never get to. 30 years always seemed so far away. It's not that I thought of myself as immortal. It just didn't seem very realistic to think I'd hit 30 any time soon. Yet here I am. One month and six days away from that fateful number.

It really can't be that bad.

No. I think 30's gonna be okay. I think 30 will see a new job. 30 will see me completing my first novel. 30 will see me going on a date for the first time since 2002. Maybe not. Dating is stupid.

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