Monday, January 25, 2010

Greatest Hits: Texting

Originally posted on 12/18/2008:

I get bored at work. This leads me to either begin e-mailing friends who work at the same institution, like Brandon or Shalana, or to send text messages to people. Usually the texts go to Nicole, 'cause she's the one most likely to respond within a reasonable amount of time. Generally I'll begin with an actual question, but the text conversation usually mutates into something ridiculous. I give you an example from today's back and forth texting between myself and Nicole:

A: Meant to ask... May I do laundry this evening?
N: I guess so
A: I don't want to put you out or inconvenience you in any way.
N: Whatever
A: Why so passive aggressive? What did I ever do to you?
N: Hmmm. Let me think that one through.
A: Ok now you've actually got me concerned.
N: Really?
A: Are you messing with me?
N: Would I do that?
A: Absolutely
N: Never!
A: Lies! All LIES!
N: I do NOT lie!
A: Another LIE!
N: Whatever.
A: You shouldn't lie about lying about lying
N: You shouldn't be a pain in the butt
A: But I'm pretty sure that's one of my spiritual gifts
N: That's very interesting. A spiritual gift you say? Not one of the most spiritual or uplifting if you ask me.
A: It's one of the lesser gifts. My stronger gifts are in sarcasm and cynicism
N: I think you may be deceived because I'm pretty certain they are not spiritual gifts
A: Yeah. They're mentioned in the book of Second Opinions
A: Chapter 11 I think
N: I would be interested in seeing that particular book. What is it from? Aaron's version of the Bible
A: It's one of the lost Dead Sea scrolls. Sadly it was lost in the Great Chicago Fire many years ago. Its truths are but legend now.
N: How convenient for you!
A: No Nicole. It's a tragedy for us all.
N: I think you are extremely misguided and need medication
A: I just wish you could be a little open minded. I weep for you.
N: I will not be deceived by the workings of the devil.
A: Are you calling me the devil? That hurts.
N: I am saying that you are under the influence of the devil
A: Just to be clear you know that I haven't been serious about anything I've said right?
A: Except for the laundry
So that's been my morning. And I think that's pretty typical. Have fun with that.

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