Thursday, August 06, 2009

The Murtaugh List

On the most recent season of How I Met Your Mother, there was an episode titled "The Murtaugh List." The name Murtaugh comes from the character played by Danny Glover in the Lethal Weapon series of films. Detective Murtaugh's signature line was "I'm getting too old for this stuff." Well, he says stuff in the TV edit.

The title refers to a list of activities that the characters of the show are getting too old for. Over the last few months I've experienced some activities that I now feel I'm getting too old for. While I can hope that the following list is definitive, I have a feeling it will be an ever expanding thing.

1. Midnight Movies: When Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was released, I went to see it at midnight. It was a Tuesday night. This meant I needed to be at work the next morning at 8:30. I'm not sure how much sleep I got after I got home from the movie. But I know it was well after 3am when I hit the bed. I'm getting too old for this stuff.

2. Eating After Midnight: Whenever I eat something late at night, especially if it's something fried, it isn't a good thing. I'm not entirely sure, but I think I turn into a little big-eared monster that likes to destroy things. I'm getting way too old for this stuff.

3. Strenuous Activity Involving Small Children: See, I'm out of shape. I'm not sure that I've ever been in great shape, but 10 years ago I was in pretty decent shape. Now I'm older and I find that it's difficult to breathe when chasing kids. Also, it's easier to pull muscles and twist joints. Things pop that didn't used to pop. I'm a little concerned. I'm definitely getting too old for this stuff.

4. Roller Skating: Yeah, a couple years ago when I was working at Northside Middle School as a day-treatment counselor, I had the privilege of chaperoning a trip to the skating rink. It's like I forgot how to use my legs properly. When I was a kid I could skate pretty well. I wasn't trying to win a competition or anything, but I could do it without falling. No more. I didn't fall on that particular outing, but I may as well have. The next day I could barely move.

5. Spicy Food: I've never been a big fan of the spicy food, even as a kid. But these days, the few spicy items that I did enjoy have a tendency to tear me apart. I'll spare you further details.

At the moment that's all I can think of. But as I said before, I'm sure it'll be a growing list.


  1. Happy to report none of these are on my list........However I have a list of things I am too fat to do now. Soon Exercise will be on both lists

  2. Now past the half-century mark, all of these are on my list of "things I'm too old for" too. When I forget that and indulge myself, I live (barely) to regret it! Looks like we need to find some new wild and crazy activities to replace what no longer works! :-)