This is not my resume. Nor is this a plea for someone out there to give me a job. Then again, maybe it is.
I've told many of my Legends of the Bank Teller. It's easy to do because that's the job I perform on a daily basis. I am a bank teller. But last night it hit me, I really don't like that job.
I saw my friend Ryan for the first time in two years at dinner last night. One of the first things he asked me, sarcastically, was, "How's the job?" When I said it sucked, he just laughed and said he could tell as much from reading my blog.
Let me be honest, the job doesn't suck. There are worse jobs. I've seen Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel. I know what's out there. I also know what's not out there. In these troubling economic times, having a job of any kind is a blessing. Period.
But if I were to sit here and tell you or anyone else that I'm entirely happy and content with my place in the universe as a bank teller, I'd be lying. My assistant manager gave each of us a survey with questions about our jobs. The answers we give are purely opinion. But as I looked at the questions, I realized that if I answered them all honestly, my assistant manager will just look at me and ask, "Why are you working here?" And my honest answer to that would be, "Because it's a job and I need the paycheck to survive from month to month." I'm not working at the bank because I see myself climbing that particular ladder to become a branch manager someday. That's just not who I am.
So who am I? What is it that I want to do with my life?
I want to do this. I want to write. And I want to get paid to do it.
Okay, I can truthfully report that I am working on a novel and I'm happy to say that I'm actually making progress with it. But that's not a guaranteed paycheck. I can't just look at a completed novel (once it's completed) and assume it will be published. It would be a nice ending this tale, but it certainly isn't a sure thing.
But what about writing for a magazine or a newspaper? What about writing for a blog, other than my own?
I love writing. I don't know how talented I am with it, but it's something I enjoy. It's something I'm passionate about. If you can't love what you do, then why do it? I do not love working at the bank. I don't love pretending to have patience with people who refuse to have patience with me. I don't love pretending to respect customers who refuse to pretend to respect the people who are serving them.
I know, as a Christian, that we are called to serve others in whatever capacity that we are able. I know that I shouldn't be relying on my own strength to do this day after day. I know that, with my personality, doing it on my own is impossible. So while I work for the bank, I will endure. I will perform the job required to the best of my ability, but not for the sake of my ability.
In the meantime, I'd like to put the feelers out there. I don't have a degree in journalism or communications, but I actually feel that I have something to offer in terms of writing. If you disagree, please tell me, I can certainly handle the criticism. But if you agree, I could use the advice as well. Writing a blog for the News & Observer didn't turn out to be the foot in a door that I hoped it would.
So until you find me on the bestseller list, you can find me here. And also at the bank's drive through window.