Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Electronic Harmony

Not too long ago Nicole told me that she wanted to perform a little experiment. She wants to sign me up on e-Harmony just to see what would happen. I think she's finally realizing that her predicted date of my wedding is fast approaching and I have yet to meet that special someone. Methinks she'll do anything to keep from being wrong.

I'm really not on board with the online dating thing. I don't look down on it. More and more people are giving it a shot, and hey, good for them if they make it work. But for some reason, I have the feeling that if I were to go on there, I'd feel like I was giving up. I know that as soon as that's out there, I'll have all those people who have found love on the internet complaining with me.

But then again, what would I be giving up? It's not that I've ever really put myself out there and given this whole dating thing a try. So I guess signing onto e-Harmony wouldn't really be giving up.

I get the feeling that, if I were to fill out their psychological profile, I'd eventually get an e-mail from the people running the site. Not a happy e-mail showing me who my matches are, no. I'd get an e-mail informing me that I broke their system.

"Mr. Peck, we're sorry to inform you that we were unable to find a match for you among the 3.5 billion women in the world. In fact, your psychological profile was so screwed up, you crashed our entire website. It will take us at least six months to get things back online. In that time, the thousands of matches that we could have made will continue to live their lives miserable and alone. It's because of you that they will never find love. Good job, loser."

I just don't want that kind of pressure.

So I guess if the online dating thing doesn't work out, Nicole will probably just resort to finding me a mail order bride. She'll probably hit me with that one around September.


  1. I know, not one, but TWO people who were rejected by E-Harmony. For some reason, I don't think you'd really have that problem, though. These chicks were WEIRD. Friends I dearly love, who are both now in successful relationships (well, at least ONE of them), but ne'er the less, WEIRD.
    I think you should do it. The free personality profile alone is worth it. Insightful and fun. But this is from a girl who LOVES to take those magazine quizzes.

    Just sayin'


  2. I recommend Match.com. I think that's the one endorsed by Dr. Phil, plus I had a patient in last week who's getting married to the guy she met there. She's a very attractive art teacher that met an architect, so maybe you can find a girl with a good career that can support you while you stay home and write! ;-)

  3. Just don't wear sweatpants in your picture