Sunday, February 01, 2009
Welcome to the first ever Carpy Awards! I won't call it the first annual awards. The word annual implies something that happens every year. I'll decide next year if I want it to be an annual event. If I do this next year, hopefully I'll have a few more categories. For now, let's get started with the four categories we've got.
The first category is for the best guest blogger. The first ever Carpy goes to Nicole Greene for The Art of Lying. Nicole was asked to give an acceptance speech:
"This is so unexpected! I really wasn't prepared for this. I never thought I'd beat out Santa Claus, of all people. To be honest I was just honored to be nominated in the same category as such a legendary figure. First I want to thank my family for believing in me and for voting for me. Next I want to thank Aaron for giving me the chance to share my thoughts on this forum. (cue music) No, wait I'm not done! (music swells) You won't get rid of me that easily! I... (music gets louder) ... Forget it..."
Thank you Nicole and thanks for coming out tonight! Our next award is for best movie (that I saw last year). And the winner is Iron Man! Here to accept the award for best movie (that I saw last year) is Iron Man himself, Mr. Tony Stark!...
He must not have heard me... Mr. Tony Stark!...
Okay, Mr. Stark must be out making the world safe for democracy. I'm sure that if he could be here he would be honored by this prestigious award.
Our third category is for the best Legend of the Bank Teller. The winning post is Episode XXVI! I will be accepting this award, since I lived it. Remember, being a bank teller isn't just a job. It's an adventure. And also an exercise in humility.
Finally tonight, we have the category for best online video. The winner chosen by the people is Oops, I Crapped My Pants! I'd like to thank the good people at Saturday Night Live for continuing to provide us with late night humor throughout the years.
That about wraps things up from the first ever Carpy Awards. Good night and drive home safely!