Sunday, October 12, 2008

Advisory Board

Yesterday I said I was going to run for president eight years from now. While I was sitting at work, and I wasn't thinking about work, 'cause that just doesn't happen, I began planning ahead. I started to think about who I would want close to me. Who would I have as advisers?

First off, I would definitely have Kevin in a position on the cabinet. I don't know exactly which department I would have him in charge of. But I know whatever I appointed him as, he would do a good job. He's been selling cabinets for years. I need someone with that kind of experience on my cabinet.

Mark would be in there somewhere too. He's a guy that has a lot of opinions. But it's not like he just spouts off what he's thinking without thinking about it. All of his stances on the issues are very well thought out and articulated. He gets pretty passionate about things, especially when dealing with the welfare of the country.

As I write this, I realize that I'm only appointing my friends in these positions. Didn't they coin a phrase for that a few years back? Was it "cronyism?" Sounds good to me. 'Cause I'm also appointing Andy and Brandon somewhere too. Guess I should put some women on the cabinet too. 'Cause diversity isn't just an old wooden ship.

I'd go ahead and say I'll appoint Nicole to Homeland Security or something like that, but I'm not sure that I would want both members of a married couple in the cabinet. What's the saying? Politics makes strange bedfellows? I really don't know what that means, but I think it might have something to do with political differences between a husband and wife. Nicole can be the White House chief of staff. Or Jen. I'll let them fight it out.

All of this, of course, is a moo point if I can't get elected. Let's start talking this thing up folks. I have an average of 18 readers here every day. Our first move would be to build up that number. I think it's entirely possible to turn this country on its head eight years from now. A nobody with no funding could come from out of nowhere to become POTUS.


  1. So I have figured it all out for you because that is what I do.

    Kevin with his 16 years of cabinet experience would make a perfect member of your cabinet so good choice there.

    As for White House Chief of Staff, I do have over 10years experience of being the Greene House Chief of Staff so I could totally help you out there.

    Ryan would be perfect in heading up Homeland Security. (wink wink)

    Jen, well let's just say that Jen would make a wonderful cleaning lady.

    Those are just my thoughts but I totally think they are brillant!!


  2. cleaning lady?

    come on.

    you know i'd be good as your press secretary.

    i've worked in news. i look good on television. and i usually know exactly what to say.



    j "remember who told you to say "we're gonna get the guns"" h

  3. While I must say that you do look good on camera my sweet sister, it is usually because I am standing beside you. I'm not sure you can pull it off alone. Also, I'm not really sure how far "we're gonna get the guns" is going to get Aaron. We really need to work on a better slogan.


  4. i'll prove to you how good of a press secretary i'd be.


    thank you for meeting with me today mr president. I know your time is limited. how are you today sir?

    president aaron:
    Good. My nervousness exists on... several levels. Number one, and this is in no particular order, I haven't done this in a pretty long time. Number two, uh, any expectations that you might have, given the fact that I'm... you know...

    (chuckling) the most powerful man in the world?
    good one sir, i promise to be gentle. now, you talked about how congress recently denied appropriations you requested. how did you feel about that refusal to advance your legislation? did it in any way make you feel less presidential?

    (president aaron pushes a red button while the reporter is asking the question)

    sir, what's with the red button?

    P.A. (president aaron):
    Somewhere in Libya right now, a janitor's working the night shift at Libyan Intelligence headquarters. He's going about doing his job... because he has no idea, in about an hour he's going to die in a massive explosion. He's just going about his job, because he has no idea (president aaron points to the red button) I just gave an order to have him killed. You've just seen me do the least presidential thing I do.

    touche sir.
    moving on ...

    you recently nominated Bryce Greene to serve as the Chief Justice of the supreme court. A staggering move considering he is only eighteen years old. How do you explain your reasoning behind this?

    If you've ever seen the look on somebody's face the day they finally get a job, I've had some experience with this, they look like they could fly. And its not about the paycheck, it's about respect, it's about looking in the mirror and knowing that you've done something valuable with your day.

    On to a lighter topic.

    Mr. president, it seems as if the united states is having what congress is referring to as a minor disagreement with our neighbor to the north. Canada is politely asking the united states to do our part in help keeping our shared border free of garbage and debris. We’ve always had an excellent relationship with the Canadian government and I assume we will continue on that course so what’s your plan of action there?

    In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And we will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore..

    But sir, it’s only a few pieces of garbage and to be perfectly honest, it’s mainly ours.

    We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win this day will be remembered as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! “

    Sir, now I’m just going to ask you some rapid fire questions. Please answer as quickly as possible.

    What are you thinking right now?
    PA: Do you think there will ever be a time when you can stand in a room with me and not think of me as the president?

    What are your plans for tomorrow:
    PA: I'm gonna get the guns

    Reporter: Who are you?
    PA: My name is Aaron Peck, and I *am* the President.

    Reporter: If I were to sneak onto air force one and you saw me what would you say?

    Reporter: And if I may, I’d like to give you one last scenario …
    Mr president one of your main accomplishments has been in restoring long lost allies to the united states. A feat many thought would be virtually impossible. Lets say tomorrow you get that fated call. The united states has been hit hard and we need backup. Who do you think would be our most trusted ally? Who would you call first?

    PA: Superman! Can you hear me? Superman! Where are you...

    Reporter: Mr. president thank you for your time.

    j "BOO YAH!" h